Poppycock, Uncategorized

The incredible, edible potato.

I’m all about the poppycock.  I like just saying poppycock.  Another thing I’m all about is the potato.  It’s one of the ugliest things I eat.  It’s one of the most beautiful things I eat, too!  Exhibit number one.  Who ever saw this thing in the ground and thought “Ooh, I can’t wait to stuff that thing in my mouth!”?


Like I said, one of the ugliest things I love to eat.  The next picture, though… makes me check my watch for lunch time!


See what I mean?  So purdy!  When I started searching for potato pictures I found a pic from the 1977 film Close Encounters of the Third Kind, directed by Steven Spielburg and starring Richard Dreyfuss.  Mashed potatoes played a huge role in that film.  Remember how much Billy Bob liked “french fired taters, mm-hm”?  That’s all I even remember about the film Sling Blade.  I also found this picture…

He love a potato!  I do too!  Remember Bubba from Forrest Gump?  I love me some taters about as much as he loved the shrimp!  You can eat white potatoes, red potatoes, yellow potatoes, russet potatoes, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes.  you can use them to make french fried potatoes, potato chips, potato skins, potato salad, potato soup, potatoes Au Gratin.  You can make or buy and shoot people with a potato gun.  You can make them into a toy with interchangeable faces and land a starring role in the Disney/Pixar Toy Story films.  Next time you’re angry at someone you can throw a potato at them.

 Potatoes are not only tasty, they are healthy too.  But I don’t care about that, look that up yourself. 


In my quest for pics, I also found a website all about potato’s, including significant facts and dates.  Did you know the potato was discovered in the Andes by Spanish conquistador Jiminez de Quesada in 1530?  It provided Europe with an cheap food source, spurring a population growth.  In 1853 the potato chip was invented in Saratoga, N.Y..  I’ve been to Saratoga and what I find funny is I never knew it to be home of the infamous potato chip discovery.  They are known for horse racing, though.  Seems kinda strange to me.  I know a lot of people who love to eat and love to eat potato ships, but I don’t know a single person who loves horse racing!  Guy’s is a local snack company that has chips, nuts,etc.  I’ve sampled some of their products and I’d rather have some Guy’s chips than some Guy’s nuts.  But, Kettle is even better!

Before I go off on more crazy ramblings about conspiracies to keep potato chips from having a national holiday or at least having a national monument at their birthplace, let me remind you of a date in American history the potato gained fame.  The only date or the most significant date in potato’s history, is June 15th 1992.  On that day in Trenton, New Jersey, James Danforth “Dan” Quayle incorrectly corrected an elementary student’s spelling of the word “potato” to “potatoe”.   The word “potatoe” was in people’s minds all across the nation!  I don’t think that was a blunder.  I think it was a cold calculated marketing ploy, but it worked.

When ever the misspelled “potatoe” is brought up, most people think Al Gore is the Vice President that misspelled potato.  Why would the Nobel Peace Prize winning author that discovered global warming, invented the internets, won the popular vote in the 2000 elections, starred in an episode South Park misspell potato?  The potato is surrounded in conspiracy!  When I say “potato”, you think “Idaho”, right?  You know where I’m going with this?  Me neither. 

What do potato’s have to do with Porsches?  Nothing.  Unless you’re having trouble sleeping at night because you can’t stop thinking, “why would anyone spend so much time and money modifying a Cayman”or, “it’s still just a Cayman”.  Forget all that, go eat some chips and dip.  Maybe you’re having a little trouble performing for your lady friend and you’re here reading instead of in bed rocking out.  Just think about a beautiful, sexy taters!  Here’s a picture to help you out next time and get you all kinds of crazy excited!  Beautiful, sexy, tasty taters!  Here’s a picture to help you forget about Caymans and get all kinds of excited! 


 Either way, before you take offense to my remarks about Caymen and erectile dysfunction or critic my grammar and structure, just remember, I’m just a guy who works on cars for a living and fantasizes about potatoes.  I’m going to lunch.


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